Welcoming You To Motherhood: A Love Letter To My Best Friend
It has been 1,450 days since the last… and first time… I was pregnant.
The raw emotions that weave their way into this last week of normalcy can be overwhelming, I know. I feel myself messaging you, or calling, more often… checking up on you, I guess.
It’s not that I don’t think you can do it… BY GOD, I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT! I suppose it’s just that I have done it and maybe I’m reliving it through you, or I’m trying to fill a void of sentiment that I never knew I needed when I was in your swollen footed, barely fitting shoes… all those 1,450 days ago.
What I do know is this….
I know you are scared. How could you not be? Scared of new learning curves and unknowns. Of the way relationships will rework themselves and roles will be played out. Scared of handling it… or not.
But I also know… that you are strong… or actually, I know that the strength WILL COME. This isn’t a power waiting in all of us, ebbing beneath our surface. No- this is an energy created inside of you the moment that child leaves your body. An innate force to be as strong, mentally or physically, as you need to be, to handle whatever comes your way. Mother strong.
And yet, I know… there will be moments of inevitable weakness. Times when you feel you have given all there was to give. Actual seconds in time, that seem to stop, as you struggle with where to turn to next. Flashes of failure. Moments that you feel there is no one in the world that can possibly understand.
You have seen me there.
Tired. Crying. Yelling. Desperate.
Unable to explain how I feel, incapable of expressing my depth of hopelessness, powerless to ask for help. You have seen these moments in me, and yet… you have seen me at my fullest.
Devoted. Laughing. Thankful. Strong.
And still, these emotions are hard to explain. As if the most polarizing aspects of our lives are only expressed from mother to mother, through a tear down the cheek, a hand on our shoulder or a loving nod- there are some things that only mothers can feel.
And so, in the end, my love letter truly is this:
When you need to cry… let it all out.
When you need to scream… let me scream with you.
When you are scared… take my hand.
When you are overwhelmed… look me in the eye.
When you are overjoyed… share your smile.
When you are more in love than you ever could imagine, with the simplest, yet most complex being you’ve ever laid eyes on… scream it from the rooftops.
When you think you’re going crazy… tell me with no fear of judgements.
When you are at peace… enjoy.every.earned.moment.
Motherhood is daunting and it is hard. My God, there will be days of utter despair, in this perpetual and often thankless job.
Yet, it is single handedly the most organically beautiful example of who we are meant to be in life. A breed amongst our own, to care and to love, to put others before ourselves, to fend and to fight, to be in awe of the person we have created.
You are, my dear, sweet, best friend, embarking on your wildest, most poetic journey yet… and with tears in my eyes and love in my heart… it is my honor to welcome you upon it.
Don’t Forget To Smile, Krysta