Awkwardly Awaiting My Mom Tribe
There I was, standing in the sand, anxiously looking at my feet as I fumbled over the words “ So you want to get together sometime? To hangout?”
No, this wasn’t a horrible, reoccurring nightmare about the awkwardness of highschool… though it might as well have been.
This was me, a normally confident and outgoing 29 year old woman, trying desperately to make “new mom friends” after our move to a new city.
I felt like a freaking teenager asking the cool kids if I could sit down at their lunch table… the A table. MAN DID I WANT TO SIT DOWN TO LUNCH AT A TABLE! Not even the A table… I would take the B or C… screw it, I would sit at a 2 top, with stools, next to the kitchen with a direct whiff of the bathroom, if it meant I could make a new friend.
I hadn’t realized how much of a community I was lacking, for me or my daughter, until a few months into our new zip code. My husband, busy handling his new position… the one we had moved for… was less than available, and while I am perfectly fine with him handling his business… I needed adult time. And on top of that, my daughter needed friends!
We tried the park… lazy kids and moms staring at their phones.
We tried the kid’s museum… snotty ass kids… and well, moms on their phones again.
I found myself trying to make eye contact or share a laugh over something cute the kids just did but always felt I was giving off the creeper vibe… like I was definitely trying to hard.
I joked to my friends that we had left… and whom we missed so damn much… that I felt I should join a “mommy and me match.com site.” I felt like giving my daughter pep talks when we arrived at the park… game plans if you will.
“Now when we get in the gate, you go left and talk to that little blonde girl. Ask her her name, tell her yours and be sweet.”
“I’m going to sit down next to iPhone Mom and see if I can’t find common ground. WE CAN DO THIS! WE’VE GOT THIS!” And BREAK!
So here we were, 3 hours into a beach day, and getting along great with another mama/ daughter duo. We had played, we chit chatted, we shared toys, I almost had sun poisoning from staying in the sun way past my usual amount, all for the sake of not shaking this potential friendship.
In the end, only time will tell. Will this be my new BFF? Probably not. But eventually I will begin to build my community… to build my mom tribe. The time will come, when I’m not even paying attention, that we get a casual park invite, then a birthday and then girls night out. Just like my tribes I’ve left for this new journey, it will happen when I least expect it. And that’s how you know they’re your tribe… your people. Because it isn’t forced, it isn’t sought and found- it. just. happens. Those beautiful, sarcastic, free spirited women who abide by the 5 (10) second rule too, slowly make their mark on your soul and root themselves into your story. God, I love those freaking women.
Until then, here I’ll be, standing like a creepy wallflower at my prom, trying to make eye contact with the cool kids, waiting for my tribe to rescue me to go do the robot…
Damnit, they just get me.
Don’t Forget To Smile, Krysta